XXI The World

The World XXI in the position labeled feeling. This is the last card in this cycle. By tradition I'll do a new reading on Sunday. First Day will be First Day.

In the Waite deck the center of the card is a blonde woman. It is kind of sad how we have made her the center of our world. How big are her breasts? How healthy, blonde, shiny, full, soft is her hair? How tone, trim, tight is her body? How many men desire her? How many women desire to be her?

And surrounded by the symbols of some faith I can't even begin to understand, Angel, Eagle, Lion, Bull. Why these? Why not blue jay, turtle, beetle and fish? Why not monkey, anteater, starling and toad? Writing it that way makes it all seem foolish. Man ascribing some glory to some beast that really has nothing to do with the animal at all. C.S. Lewis' Asland. All allegory and archetypes.

^ keeps trying to convince me of our archetypal connection. Like James Bond rigging the tarot deck to show The Lovers and get nubile Jane Seymour into the sack.

As if the archetypes impel us. They don't. We use them to describe. These things are universal in man.

The Origins deck shows a man standing outside the circle of standing stones. Man erects the circles, aligning them with the universe. It's the same as the blonde woman. Looking to ascribe order and perfection based on our values on the universe. Silly humans. Self centered. We picture our world. We own our world. We possess the blonde. She is our wife to fuck as we desire.

I haven't much liked man's world at the moment. I'm pretty sick of having the media try and tell me how I should feel.

On the other hand, humanity at its best is pretty amazing.

As a teenager I told myself I was going to win the Nobel Prize. I was assuming medicine. But what about the peace prize, or the literature prize? Even at 40 if I start now these are open to me. What would I do? What would I write? But see it is the world, the judgement that gives those prizes. And now, thinking about that kind of glory, why seek it? Better to do what you want. Glory is bogus.

What are my feelings? What would I feel to be at the edge of the standing stones? Is it in them, within the circle that allows you to transcend the world or without?

In some ways the whole question comes down to my feelings. My own personal world. Beyond that every thing gets really hazy. How I look at the world. There is so much to see. Too much. That's what ~ is sucked in by. Myself, I'm being reactionary to that. Closing those avenues off and trying to be more selective about what I choose to view/experience.

What is important to me? Not as many things as I thought.

XX Judgement

One year away from 40.

I The Magician

I let my emotional control my physical.

V The Hierophant

I make a bad holy woman most times.

XVIII The Moon

Sloughing off the wasted potential so the next cycle can have its chance at fruition.

X Wheel of Fortune

The path spirals in and the path spirals out.

XX Judgement

We are wise to take only what we need.

XXI The Universe

Get eccentric tatooed on my forehead and be done with it. Warn the World.

VIII Strength

In a position (Resources) I truly want to be strong in.

XVI The Tower

I've fallen out of that damn tower so many times. I keep climbing back in.

XII The Hanged Man

All I need to do now is build up my stomach muscles enough to reach my feet and untie myself.

I The Magician

It is possible every molecule in the Universe remembers where it was, what it was part of.

X Wheel of Fortune

Stop it here long enough to hear God.

V The Hierophant

I'm more inclined to pick the lock myself.

XVIII The Moon

There is travel in stages. Crawling out of the sea, baying at the moon.