The thing about that 9 of Pentangles and me realizing that I am nowhere near that 9. "It's a nice place to visit by I wouldn’t want to live there," so to speak, is part of the difference between C. and I. She lives in that 9. She is comfortable enjoying that luxury. Work is only a means of getting her to that place. People around her do their best to keep her in that place. She has learned to manipulate people around her to keep herself in that place. “I know my daughter is manipulative. People think I don’t see it, but I do. She learned it from a master,” B. said yesterday.
C. does work. She wouldn’t have gotten the full scholarship to QU if she didn’t work. But the work isn’t where her joy is. The work is the means to the ends. There has to be a pay off.
For me the results of the work, whatever I bring into being is the payoff. I guess this is where I fall short. What I’m struggling with at the moment, if in essence I already feel like I’ve been paid, why go through the effort of the next step and actually collect the 9th coin? Because that 9th coin is the profit that you get to invest to get to the happy family place in the 10 of coins, and that is where I really want to be so I can tap back into the source of the Ace for more inspiration and start the cycle all over again, create my next work.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
IX of Pentangles
0: I open myself to all possibilities...
... that include nothing more complex than sitting in this chair in peace as long as possible.
1: This card is the IX of Pentangles in the Feeling position.
2: Background—A clear green sky (I hate the unnatural sky colors in this deck) over a range of high blue peaks. Two tall trees on either side of the card framing the figure’s head. A castle, white walls with red roofed turrets. Foreground—the trellis of grape vines heavy with lush, dark-purple bunches of grapes. 9 pentangles arranged in groups of threes, 6 on one side of the figure and three on the other. The central figure’s gender is unclear. Short hair (man?) opulent robe with a neckline cut to enhance cleavage (woman?) but no obvious tits. Blonde hair. Red hat ornately bordered oversized beret style (also not gender specific) Figure’s right hand rests on the top pentangle. The figure’s left hand has a large yellow glove on which a hooded falcon is perched. The falcon’s hood is red like the figure’s hat. The heavy robe is yellow with roses so stylized as to look like the female symbol. The inside of the sleeves are also red as is the wide collar. The robe uses lots of fabric, draped sleeves and a train. Barest hint of one small, pointed, yellow slipper.
3: Contentment, enjoyment of pleasure.
It’s raining again today. I’m sitting watching it fall, making the watery reflection of the puddles on my deck jump and flash light/dark. There is a pair of squirrels chasing each other and foraging through the leaves for acorns. Watching only them, you wouldn’t know it was raining. They don’t even really look wet. Tails still fluffy. They like to perch on the stonework in the backyard to eat whatever they find then scramble for more. T. has settled herself in my lap. She’s purring and warm. My feet are propped up on B.’s chair where H. & H. is sprawled out. I have tea and quiet, except for the cats and rain and machine hum that accompanies modern American life.
Greer suggests using “I” statements when describing the cards. If I did that with this card...
I’m standing in my host’s vineyard wearing an opulent costume provided by my host. It is warm, heavy, but I hate the colors. The hat is cool though. To go with the costume they gave me a falconer’s glove and a falcon. I’m glad it’s hooded because I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with it otherwise. I really wish someone would come and take it back. My arm is tired and I am inclined to set it free, but I don’t want to piss off my host. It was a thrill at first to be so close to such an awesome, beautiful animal as was putting on the costume and roaming through the vineyard and castle. But it’s all too much. I’m glad of the chance to experience all of that, and will be sad when it’s over, but I have work that I want to go do.
... that include nothing more complex than sitting in this chair in peace as long as possible.
1: This card is the IX of Pentangles in the Feeling position.
2: Background—A clear green sky (I hate the unnatural sky colors in this deck) over a range of high blue peaks. Two tall trees on either side of the card framing the figure’s head. A castle, white walls with red roofed turrets. Foreground—the trellis of grape vines heavy with lush, dark-purple bunches of grapes. 9 pentangles arranged in groups of threes, 6 on one side of the figure and three on the other. The central figure’s gender is unclear. Short hair (man?) opulent robe with a neckline cut to enhance cleavage (woman?) but no obvious tits. Blonde hair. Red hat ornately bordered oversized beret style (also not gender specific) Figure’s right hand rests on the top pentangle. The figure’s left hand has a large yellow glove on which a hooded falcon is perched. The falcon’s hood is red like the figure’s hat. The heavy robe is yellow with roses so stylized as to look like the female symbol. The inside of the sleeves are also red as is the wide collar. The robe uses lots of fabric, draped sleeves and a train. Barest hint of one small, pointed, yellow slipper.
3: Contentment, enjoyment of pleasure.
It’s raining again today. I’m sitting watching it fall, making the watery reflection of the puddles on my deck jump and flash light/dark. There is a pair of squirrels chasing each other and foraging through the leaves for acorns. Watching only them, you wouldn’t know it was raining. They don’t even really look wet. Tails still fluffy. They like to perch on the stonework in the backyard to eat whatever they find then scramble for more. T. has settled herself in my lap. She’s purring and warm. My feet are propped up on B.’s chair where H. & H. is sprawled out. I have tea and quiet, except for the cats and rain and machine hum that accompanies modern American life.
Greer suggests using “I” statements when describing the cards. If I did that with this card...
I’m standing in my host’s vineyard wearing an opulent costume provided by my host. It is warm, heavy, but I hate the colors. The hat is cool though. To go with the costume they gave me a falconer’s glove and a falcon. I’m glad it’s hooded because I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with it otherwise. I really wish someone would come and take it back. My arm is tired and I am inclined to set it free, but I don’t want to piss off my host. It was a thrill at first to be so close to such an awesome, beautiful animal as was putting on the costume and roaming through the vineyard and castle. But it’s all too much. I’m glad of the chance to experience all of that, and will be sad when it’s over, but I have work that I want to go do.
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