Knight of Cups-Reversed

There's another thing that crosses me. The Knight of Cups-Reversed in his bad aspects never lose his charm. He's still cool as a mountain stream, but it's polluted. # reminded me of this. ~ can talk, and it all sounds so rational. Bad behaviors sound reasonable, average acceptable things get magnified into triumphs, questions get diverted, answers sound complete but a key point gets left out, problems are allocated to me beyond the level of my responsibility.

I'm a sucker for all of it. Such a sucker. This is a serious cross I need to be aware of. He did it to me the other night. He was questioning my love, as if I didn't really love him ever. Like it was just some self-absorbed, delusional game I was playing in my mind and he was the helpless victim of my manipulations.

Fuck that shit. You doubt my love for you, fine. Doubt it. That's your baggage. You can not make me doubt my heart and love anymore. I loved you. It was real and true. I maybe self-centered and delusional, but love is not a game for me. It's too important to me. The love I can give is too valuable.